And I know nothing's ever never gonna be ok again no how...

Yes, I am that boy at the bus stop.

Here's the closure of July. The fourth consecutive month of turmoil. What am I saying... what has this year really offered me yet, other than perpetual scolding? I hope it ends here. August will get me out of debt. Yay.

Tomorrow I am spending the entire day with Jeffrey, save for work at 5:30 with Shelbs. There is much to understand here. I am missing Nick, Nik, and Simon a WHOLE fuck of a lot. Yeah, and the unnamed also.

Chris and Nikki couldn't be any better to me. Really. And you're the only two people who I knowingly allow to read this, so tremendous props to y'all. Today I spent a lot of time seeing the contradiction in everything. That is, in words, routines, actions, psychology, lustful lunges, etc. It all needs to end. And I have to start with myself, in truth. I need to put it all out there with people. That way I can at least drop the constant regret in my life. I believe. Oh, and in terms of "belief".. I have none. I finally was able to see my mother for more than 20 minutes, and we spend most of the evening together Tuesday night, over dinner and at Grandma's. She really understands me well right now, which is essential. She knows of my utter void of self-worth, my increasing lack of faith in humankind, and an awful detestation of a higher power. One would think this all is quite a problem for one who is attempting to gather his gear and put motives in motion. I am fearful, quite often. I cry a lot these days. But it reaaally helps. And when little else does, I have no problem admitting this. Yes, August I will make approximately $1500 which will alleviate a lot of my stress. September the cash with continue... until 9/20. Jeff and I are planning quite an extravaganza. It has to be, we owe it to ourselves. And, friends, you owe it to yourselves to join us, to just forget about reality for a bit. Please.

These contradictions... they spawn from all over, sometimes I see it in conflicting advice you'll give me, friends. Sometimes I just can't stand to listen to others. I feel I deserve all ears when I need 'em. I never expected this, I never ever did. Yet, I must say I never thought life would be a cruise, either. I lost my way in many regards, admittedly. A friend of mine recently embraced his homosexuality. This is truly enriching. We need more bravery with self. I can't wait to hug him. I would love to walk this earth and not receive a single glance down low. I am aching for the weak to quit being so obvious, quit overriding the truth with fairy tales, and to finally give in and let out. Just become truthful in all aspects of your being. Please.

If I had to choose a partner right now... wouldn't be any easier than it was a week ago, a month ago. That's why all I ask of them is time, goddammit. The more I contemplate, the less I see what I'm doing as anything but natural sensation. There is real atrocity in wishing for solitude. Ah, I know someone who wishes for "companionship." What a thought. To cut a slit open... AllNeonLike. And to think I'm secured myself in the unwanted zone-- "friend status." Please.

The intangibility of sparking dynamics always remain. Do you not see the possibilities of retrieval over distant decades? Has history and illusion not already paved a clearly picture for us of this equivalent injustice? Ah, I feel too much for knowing so little. Wanting death for myself is very very unending. But sometime throughout each day, I couldn't be further from the sentiment. But at some point in duration, it stings me senseless. Numb is such a conceited idea. yet.. I do acknowledge it as my core in these times.

"I'd like to laugh at what you said
but I just can't find a smile
Wonder why you can
struggle with myself..
Hoping I might change a little..."


The hold is rich in its embankment eastward. I talked to someone recently of the personality trait of inborn idealism. I possess it, and there is no escape. Tightrope for an Escapist? Yes, so I told him of my trait, and I see it as not such bad a thing. Though, it does ail me now, it is also the ignition I strive towards. It pertains to just about every ambition in my course. It's not set, and knowing talk is cheap, I wish to soon fulfill one of the above. Because honestly, I do not know what to do with my life-- meaning, I have not yet for certainly claimed a direction as my calling. Though I've tasted a few... I am usual the guy on the sideline, aspiring. I always feel a bit powerful, however, when sitting there, I am wholly uninspired by the work before me. Gives me something to look forward to. A grant, if you will, to devour the walkway. Hmm... yeah, that's sufficient. Only gonna get 5 hours of sleep now...

"I can't see nothing good
nothing is so bad
I never had a chance
to explain exactly what I meant"

The Rip (results of Portishead application)

I just prettied her up for the next man in line
You'll never have anything else like me
A Delicate Procedure, what we witness now

There's something I've got to do
There's something I've got to do...

My Time

Find shelter, find shelter
"When Jesus said, 'love your enemies,' he probably meant don't kill them."
"Circus bears on the quilt I wear... with a girl."
This should be the worst day of my life, yet I won't let it.
There is no measure to what you would do
The upkeep runs too high and dry
Distaste is a forceful state in my mouth
The iron bar that slides close behind ya
Is the burning gate the clamps the cork shut
Twist off the inhibition and kick the shoes off
"Like an antelope out of control."
"What once had cheered me now seems, insignificant."
The estrogen to make me more divine
"not like a girl... such a classic girl"
Less high and more mighty
I need to read BONE
I need to play Pikmin
I need to tell a story all my own
Tomorrow, now, Pan's Labyrinth?
How many more times.
Who would you rather have honor you?
Will it ever come to flourish... undoubtedly, no.
Thank you for this common courtesy you newly weaved
It always feels like a scam, and handles like a scandal
I misjudge my front step, I trip on my sandals
No one now is throwing the dodge ball
"fish hook and line"
No cruise control to curve the paths that I preach
My purposeful scowl will haunt the helm of this treason
All burdens down in the depth of our season
Are we the malt ring, or trinket splinter
And those, the deaf sing are too full of lister
The sting of peculiar crutch this day
Seems only apparent in the glistening tender
"Out of season, I'm happy and..."
My 20 minutes are worth your 30 anyway
Perhaps the feminism needs to end
What is this menagerie
We all have our own shoulders and hips and that's final
You should have had your own baby to hold
The familiar feet that drape the centerfold

Oh my god, Polly Jean Harvey is an absolute genius. Dig in.

To me, it sounds like baseball heroes only
Today my diet consisted of: fish planks, green beans, red potatoes... strawberries and two slices of cake.

Enlightening as fuck conversation with Jeff tonight. So much needed. God, life is a bitch in the ass. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Haha.

"The best thing we can do on this planet is decrease negativity and increase positivity in our lives."


Gemini (5/21-6/21)
"Honest communication doesn't always feel too pleasant, but it is always right."


One Day As a Lion is absolutely fantastic. Oh my god.
"The bastard son, I spit non-fiction"
"Wait a minute, man... talk like that might limit your lifespan"

Now on to Homogenic.
"Coincidence makes sense, only with you."
"Love's a two way dream"
Goddammit.
make that three slices of cake.

I am torn between two women. Hardcore. This has never happened before. Oh my god, it's wrenching.
It just fucking tore apart.

The thing I love with Jeff Smith's work is, he wants to get to the core of our essence and nerve, showing what is capably murderous.



I hear you would like to claim the courtyard
As your own indulgent desire
But hear my reluctance to the offer
We don't know each other yet
We don't know what each of us would rather soon forget
Feel a pulse of our creation to our own salvation
We are so mated with our souls in this hour
I want to embellish this power to the next man in line
Hasn't lost his mind, who can see that my time is long gone
Yet I stand
And I wait for the next moment to further endow myself
To bring us right back to health
We'll always be what we've seen tonight
And let me tell you, the logs ain't always right
Where we start ain't where we'll begin to fight
And what we bought isn't always quite the sight
But let me tell you, no matter how long our flight
The truth will always come to us
In daytime or in night
No matter what we say it will not find decay
It will always bring to you the flowers of the next day
The truth will come in tales, where petals will unveil
Our entire soul, our dialect, each day that we entail
Our soldiers kept, unseen to most, but yet we still prevail
And let me tell you, soon each of us will grow our tail
See the next day or the last won't come to see us soon
We'll rather forget in multitudes
The same as I did before I drank a brew
It's all the same, why don't we even sell a few
Give her a broomstick
When candles don't work
In this society of sobriety
Brimstone on Broadway
I'd appreciate a few of the other instigators that negate what I fixate
I don't believe in evolution
I believe in escalating the contribution
What we bellow in the night
Will we find what we need, tomorrow
Bid on the straitjacket capsule

I only wish I were as smooth as Captain Beefheart. I don't yet know how to emphasize my intentions through delivery. Oh, it'll come. Just like a harsh stroke of an unforgiving marker.

Too Human?

It couldn't be more simple:
I am not happy to be alive.
Happy and bleeding
I cannot cover it up any longer
There is no point, there is no comfort
Those that surround me have slight imperfections, to their own demise
Conversation is nothing
Plans mean not a thing
Promise is a dirty word
Loyalty is a half-drenched dog, looking for shelter these days
What more could I ask for?

After Dark My Citys A Fuse

"She'll rule the world one day like her promise in third grade."
He'll soon be wishing you weren't going anywhere
Which would be true of me, had I been he
And in this regard, I am pleased to be not so close
To the illmatic drama loose feed
Read my rights three times
For the crime already spent
I passed out in my car last night, this morning
I awoke this morning, this afternoon -- a lampshade apart from the lifespan

Mind as a Font

Your other gimmick clinic
Planets and towers traverse me, I seldom see
The stiff restriction in the wave of goodbyes
We stalk the streak of intervention that would lay down in rhyme
If we all had the same dream tonight
What would the government tell us?
"It should all return to normal soon."
"Oh, it'll be fixed in no time."
And when I look at you, it's so demanding
You know we have more to share
We could craft a real gem of our spontaneities
Risking it all, for the balance of life to surge
I am now finding that the unspoken must exist
For the spoken to emphasize the mark taken
Don't you further feel the hum?
"Oh, this uncertainty is taking me over"

I detest the manual labor of flirtation devices.



When, and if this is the start then, it seems, of what would become a journal, then I will diagnose it as such for myself.

What I am learning now, is that many adopt a character, wholly not their own, when surrounded by a few of their crew. Don't dose me if I'm wrong, but when did we lose our identities as ourselves, no matter alone, with a close one, with a group of casual friends, or in front of a national projector. At what point of smuggling beneficiaries and compromising, negotiating, swindling our integrity into powder must we reach before all hope is not lost.

I once recalled a favorite sermon, one that greatly mattered then, one that fought to take my life, to push me into a cauldron from which excused the flaws, ignoring every last gift the elders would have brought us.

Oh, to only know what would have trumped, then. Our beaks are ravenously taking myth by storm, in an unholy cloak, beautifying the dimming wrath of our angels. To bless not in the potent verse, but redeem closed captioning upon distinguished dialect.

Hoping for more, yet saving less and less -- the buffet becomes clear -- and I must save for that occasion, the last sacred hymn. Tumbling the trapped flavors, and not savoring the rest.

I'll regret what's now half frozen. I'll entail what now is claimed to be, as I own it. It's all native blood. A leaf, a flower called to ask the recipe of...

Frusciante, Balzary, Smith, Kiedis, Rodriguez, Rother

This is so startling, I feel as though it was only meant to touch that moment of time
And dissipate with the chemicals of the sweat-induced echo
Six who know the end is near, and bellow for the next circuit of lamentation
Arranged in the mellow landscape of divine intervention
Displeased apprehension, following the formal upbringing of a false god
Turn your taste buds inward to the opening night
In a steady synagogue, redeeming the fog in stride
Before preparing the nameplates of the last remaining to stand
I keep recalling these dreams in a staircase, swallowing that of a distant voice
But these are my own discrepancies, allowing my ideals to shine through
I would have given her the blessings of a criss-crossed battered day, at 6 am
The moral of the story is that the story has no organ, no bass to fill
The template of this glory is the resounding torment of the kill
Gift of cunnilingus on the belated birthday celebration evening
What does she stand for in my vision of the genesis?
And have I found her, staged up in another clever mess?
I had never seen eyes turn to a purer state of clarity prior to this
And envelope me so confidently, I myself could shatter the forests calamity
If they keep this up, we're surely come running back for more
How the evidence creeps back and folds against us in the decisive intake
Would the closest mirror to a hummingbird resemble the image we all had it up to be
Hand-fed the clovers that dampen the mule on its turbulence to trails end
You did all this as well, without opening the telegram, or simply join me in song
More and more the travelers come to feed
On the jovial glow from the autumn road
Do judge more closely, she may speak
Do harness closer, the tools necessary to harvest the weepings of
Discharted in this domain, the magistrate has no further need for
Or if we disengage, is the proposal of the skin peeling backwards off measure?
We only began our masterpiece. The early blooms were extracted in breeze
Yet the tempest in our refuge has no need to impede
The earliest we've seen the spring
Is during demise of our solstice
Wool crests of guidance
Hold strong on the prodigies

"We Really Do Live in Our Minds"

It's really not necessary to have nine babies.
"Why does the apathy keep growing, from the bottom to the top"
I should be leaving for Puerto Rico on Saturday
But I'm burning bridges left and right
My greatest critic, hell I may fear you
The ladies want their liberation from the stereotyped nation
Let us be seen as the damned fools we all are
Don't dare say we are boys, incapable of knowing what a real woman desires
Then force gracefully your advance, that of a woman, onto a boy, of sorts
This doesn't happen, nor it ever will.
The only submission you make is the subtleties you don't speak
I ask only to translate them, meaning kept from me or not
Don't we all yet know how to step apart from our work,
and view it as fresh material, unknown before our intake
No, and never again.
I used to think time would reason it all out.
That our masked indecrepancies were all left out to dry.

Writings at the Beach, A Collective

{Recent Attempts at Fluid Expressionism}



Amidst Transition

A flawless balance of life, presented itself to me in true fashion
Yes, everyone has to offer an untitled piece of their work for borrowed perception
Free the scavenger in your will, I swore I'd one day buy out the store
What's true then is now and again
What's ripe will soon peel down the diaper and find shame in light
What's blue will return the wallet and scratch through another hue
Dissolve a fin in this filter and smoke the nicotine in
Upwards fast the vantage point
The summit becomes ill with overindulgent floods
And we may ask ourselves to balance this waiver
Or shrug, stomp out the vegetables, and cough up our virtues



Resume

Your first kiss during sunrise on an upheaveled deck
I can't focus on the acorn
When the trespassers won't let us forget
That soon the windfalls and training realign
Bringing in a new age of democratic, misguided uprise
Casting bouts in stones and foreplay
We're leaving toddlers by the toolshed for play
Children laughing at their own innocence
--now this is why we break bread
And fast for months without release
Unheard hostility, moonchild in fragile descent
For fear of overriding hooks necessary to catch drift
Toss allegiance as carelessly as you pound your chest
Pluck the hosed-down weeds in the middle of hail
Just reconvene when it's convenient for you
Allergies cascade on total dollars spent
Backtracking the waking hours
Hasn't yet paid off in retrospect
Our privilege as patrons don't transpire the dialect inept
Push aside the flagpole, assemble the seashells in vertical design



Entering Eden, Descending from a less formidable pedestal

Coming into my own, or carving a more perfect shape of miscarriage
Either way, filling out my desirable purpose
Becoming a more full-bodied molecule throughout which to move freely
I realize my capacity to love, self reflect, and better assess my gratitude
With all follow suit quite easily, daring an implosion
Nor would swallowing up all the aforementioned affirmations
of my silicon satisfaction, slipped silently into my bed
of frozen tranquilities. Asking a marble to blink
May as well lead twice as many sheep to slaughter
I bask unholily in truths, dismembering the claim
Set out as early as was gifted by the fathers of foresight
Now if one were to bloom as vibrantly as the woman
I saw, and shook from the untoppled treetops
Please me further under shaded roots of restless fertility
No slumber will question us in our marvel
if we speed twice ahead of planned route of travel
Who dares mark the distance sunk between a forming oak
And murky, distilled waters, boiling overpoint as instructed
we teach our medicine to the concave ferret, twice under oath
to deliver a more spoken proverb than pronounced at best
The yard wanders more slowly if again retrieving the lipstick
from the moss will provide any means of furthering adoration
keepsake, and in end allows more wholly, a true indentured remorse
Russia can't remain a landmark if Ireland is still untouched
By crowding hands and busy eyes at sunset,
Oh, if only you'd arise and lay by the side
I'll come stumbling towards the bed, a sheet half firm
Reason's just an unborn bird now, stifling the hole shut as we speak
We sneak our way heavenbound, unbridled by the braille removing
Hug me in the afternoon after the initial shock has left me sensible



SICILIAN TUMBLE

If we all wonder why
it can't be so certain
As to snap shut
and keep the corkscrew
An armies first weapon
behind velvet ropes
Hidden doorknobs
to the centurys vest
Escaping vestibules
and hardening the luck
All whining with the current
struck by the vines
Molten shine to the dark suspend
and again, mole over mice lurk, hungry
Why try and bribe the feeders
when the mouths overflow
and grow distant, unclamped again
Bearing the fruits of swift promise
Alluring all appendages upwards
I favor the dark, unkept flavor
A true beauty, that of a delicate, overarched gem
The cave came and mounted up
Please remind this shackle to sleep, and erode down
Towards the rescued eye
Fermenting in flame
Translucent, stark, robust.



Vertigo Incumbency

We are standing in the hands of all breath
What is he hoping to find?
This whole place is on decline
The swirl of sand beneath the yellow encrusted bubbles
Friction off the foam in the blackened corrugation of stems
Turning logs in this amphibious trudge of steps
All the nights you abducted, sent in flurry of wince
Good luck with the girl, her stance before leaving
I finally gave in, they offered too good a deal
Just enough to get you over the bridge
And safely home, no matter if you've depleted by then
Stand the test of luck, unique creature on deck
I miss you all not fairing well
Enough to stay and make nest again
In complete avoidance of reason, much like the women,
That weaved this so and uttering shortly after
The proud decadence of bitter bones in tufted orbit
Remote pleasures succeeded then, shouting bursts
Of those same damned bubbles.
--Leaving the beach in malfunction, cleft plated--
At the hand of all wrong-doing
We've sold our right to be silent
And what's next is chambered compliance
We'll all watch the malt and turn the key to shame sideways
Until there is something of which to remember
If only I could recapture these
Soft, blissful moments of brilliant ecstasy
I latch loosely in this clutch of mesh, returning
Unfolding to the reverend, I match the burden
Disregard the dependency, order your own new age attitude
Don't bring the life out of this mess, cordially your own



Soundingboards

Imagination is wild
That of youth
Floating into the brisk clean scent of eager redemption
Of what other primary tool of chosen hue
Could a better man teach
Than that of his spiritual creator?
A moment blocks the triumph before
The hand marks twelve in twilight
My shoulder slumps in rest for early hours sake
I keep a knowing crest to feel the sun
Just learn how to slow on task
And keep the rest of us secure in all the ticking
Darling sunset -- it sounds like a zombie daughter
Yet the blessing seeps pure
In all our trivial attempts at blasphemous deduction
Hold onto a swirl of time in truth
My brain is rocksteady
Hate the heat and learn to drill a penance
Our forefront is dripping with existential fortitude
I need to stop taking in strays for Christ's sake
Now, if it was between Frank and Ron
I'd be more satisfied than I would
With Barrack and John again
You know we're in your grove of honesty
The insecurities will fade tomorrow
"into constant infection"
"You make me feel like the greatest girl in the world"
"So close that wound, or else keep on bleeding"
"When at peace, we war with our oars at friendly beavers"
Mix - "Art exists for its own sake"
"Devotion is...."
All encompassing patterns dismounting the landing pads we placed



Exhumed

When harboring the face unbeautified
One leaves little to the imagination of tasteless recollection
Dying in the chalice, masked proposal
Hoped to gain, deliverance intact en route betrayal
More is fresh and new again
I am battered in the absence of flesh
Yet grow more hardily in the staked summons
Resuscitated by the hand that yearns for longer reach
Denied twice again until finally rejoicing
Breathe heaven in its name, that makes two of us
Still unashamed, discontent in the following months
Raspings unborn to soon forget the mellow scent
October blooms a death hatch awaiting
Pure swoons of quick-quipping rapture
Retired by the grill, a lofty assessment of broken arrows
The night you live by is on display
Yet the dimming hallway lights only tomorrows crop
Could a basket be burning to be filled?
Or do we all just step back to reclaim the field
Yield the treasure in your right hand
Allow the left to clutch the remnants of a heart, unyielding
Desire, desire yet to vent.



Immediacy

Garcia, we've lived a bit harder than the rest of them
Yet we can't denounce their trials and ambitions
Because all experience shared is only experience gained
What's earned is unreprimanded at the time of inclusion
And thinking on our exchange many weeks ago
I feel the need to make the statement known:
Don't limit yourself
Wait, I found more light in acquisition
And I know I had more room to lead her in life
Not that it's over now, but stored restfully on display
My mentor in these times is the same in life at large
And he says there were no two like us
Yet, nothing is true of this moment
Save for the immediacy to carry on
Others in our virtue strive by our side
And we confide in them, rightfully so
The turbulence cascading the blimp of this murky altitude
Means nothing if a leader does not arise
To pursue a greater good
For a more global union
Devoid of the urgencies that debilitate our needs
Racking our heads, relinquish undead servitudes
Let us stop for more honed reflection
We're breathing. This parts us from the sand
Falsified palm trees don't distract me from the present
Duty to further unfold, we glimpse detachment nearly as bold
My mess of cordial action seems impaired
Until I recalibrate my inner sanctum upon awakening
Dose the tide in infancy -- what less could break?
"It's too deep a springwell to abandon now."



92 Questions

Well, I at least hope the story's interesting if not important
We turned a twig to an igloo, broke bark over brick backs
What I see around me is weak women and men as mice.
Oh, and so happy to see me, is around me to be?
Disloyal wires, shattering the corpses truth unburied by a better hand.
What effect does marijuana have on the eyes?
A pillar bank multitude of systematic incongruencies
Are leopards leaping so close to the strawberry patch?
Do we then, as children, fall into a mouse trap?
If I begin and end square, do I really go anywhere?
When minds relapse the tides crush, do our words seep deeper in?
Ordinances are struck by an eyes keen fertility
When two paths cross, it's a dusk that brings epiphany
Twice removed from reality, I control all the plots you feed
Remember the icy smooth sentiment as it creeps, crawling away from me
Torn a mastodon crutch, obliterate this man musk.
Despairing a worthy notice in a team taught hostility
It's dropping two peanuts at a distilled rate of pace
Are you, are you -- answer me when I'm speakin' to ya,
Is you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?
The strong women are a wonder, and our privilege in life
Don't dampen these pardons on your own budget of loss



Hurt 2

May it lay heavy on your conscience
And shadow you through the waste you pave
Dance on yesterday, as it's now your only redemption
Uncertain of which misfire holds too true to you
He calls this closure, I prefer the term deceit
None know the drop we kicked
You are that very wooden heart
Only to be roughed up by the punches
Maybe if we just leave each other be
The tides come close behind, bringing in our efforts
Those sidestepped revisions we glanced at only momentarily
The new shades of hypocrisy
In contrast to the future celebration
Torn down, the memory installed too late
I'm glad you're unselfconscious
Because you're the beauty I treasure
I understand all hesitations
Having lived this life too
Yet the timing strikes me sincerely
And devotion to the path of leaves
Has me to ask of this fortune for tune
And still you pave over waste
This your inborn incompetence, a latent unnamed
Unloving in clutch, plead once more for your wings
Distaste and distrust
Alone, I have felt no grief
On this day, the solitude speaks



Diversity is Speaking in Tongues

Ah, and what did you ask of me?
Use my words, fulfill some destiny
Yet we are the remnants of a reversed coalition
There are those of us who still stand apathetic
Who see no true merit to a race for change
An oath on wheels, priority placed on
Further anchoring a mans ambitions to a mat laid on the ground
Our concern over the next predetermined manifestation
Of curated criminals and experimental genders
Leaves room for only little concern of which
Direction a race at large should take.
Have we not seen the roots of all evil,
Bellowing and basking in reattributed mass hysterics?
Led by the familiar game of play money
And hollow retirement
Our rhetoric speaks in tongues
As does our denied diversity
I demand so forcefully of myself
What I know already to be true
What tomorrow brings, is in the blanket unkept
And yesterdays sorrow is waking up too soon



Hart

What you're waiting for will never come
This child to entwine herself in the sponge of your life
And in the airways of your desires, she'll attach like warmth
Which she is, ever after the stain on this porch
Undefined -- the moment that drips dissent
I need the unexplained
And I feel it now, without resolve
Yet just as strong,
Best to wash that face from the smile
Bringing no less to you, unfathomably
Unless I walk in parallel courts, once more
Devote myself unknowingly, to union in
It's everything I'm looking forward to
And everything from which I'd like to depart
The seal of trust has been forgotten
Let alone smashed on the pavement outside the refinery
I always thought you brought me to my core
Before you tore it apart without constraint
And I'd discard my brain with the reluctance of a pistol
I used to go buy my muffins.
Lay down in this shape unexhumed
Do I have you to blame?
For this trap upon wheels
Etching ever so slowly closer to the stairs
With no guiding light attached to the pole
I'm seeing your interactions in comparison to our own
Furthering my need to never forgive her for the deeds
Wash us all with the pride, we'll soon give in



Conviction

Maybe I awoke just to watch her sleep
I remember, in your place, I stood solemnly prepared
And in the bleak intermission, I dance elegantly your style
My myth in clear devotion, snarling for a mate and key
Give me the right to be silent
In this echoed swirl of all our mistakes
Battered ribs, battered raspings
Ornate floral depictions on the shelved arrangements
Denounce yourself the faith of God
"Why you need Visine? Ain't no parents 'round here"
Reject mediocrity -- "applesauce and crushed pears"



The Saints' Petit Four

So far, June has not been going my way
We are being spoon-fed a fabricated reality
My love for the world, the people I share it with
Worth more than the breath I pass within
Outlook of the scopes, rebirth yet unknown
A plagiarized spiel, a nook without cranny to fill
Outsized in no time, discourse in the step
I ask you no fools take measure inept
Provided esteemed, love measure unclean
And cables intact, react without back
Mortified souls, decrepit and soon we'll forget,
The submissive backstep
A name, a blanket without aim -- I claimed it
So there's reminder of a broken spool
Take no action, just step back, believe the moments brew

Veil of the Braille, Lifted

Someone, please

Please release
This pressure off me